to the cross.

recently, i had been feeling kinda bad, off and on, because i felt like a few of my friendships were straining...or the people involved were drifting apart.

and like... other family stuff.

but when i look to the cross,
and realise how Jesus was so rejected as well,
and people didn't appreciate Him for who He was,
although He was the Ultimate...

then i just feel comforted knowing that even if my friends don't fully appreciate me as much as i'd like them too, at least God appreciates me, and that's the best relationship. (:

and still, God works,
cos He showed me how my friend did appreciate me more than i thought. (:


so if any of you feel down because you feel under-appreciated, or feel like you're relationships are straining...
remember Jesus, and God's love, and lift all up to Him. (:

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also, i realised how to confirm.
once again, if Christ and God is the focus.
i learn how to differentiate.
and i learn how to know.

and now i know, that i truly don't.
thanks to cremon (:
for reminding me that if it IS, it has to be GOD-CALLED.
and one has to control his emotions, at all costs.

because emotions are of the flesh.
but you want IT to be of God.
and i know that this liking, wasn't called by God.
so i fee liberated.

------------------------------------------

oh and service today was AWESOME.
you could feel God and the Holy Spirit just manifesting in the hall.
and i felt like God was watching pastor reuben just preach, and God was immensely proud.

worship was...convicting for me.
it made me realise i shouldn't be doing some things that i was doing.
not to distract my eyes with evil.
but to focus on the Spirit, on God, and on the cross.





to the cross we look.

speechless.

connecTiNG camp.
the P6 Orientation Camp for PLMC, organised by the sec 3s, bridging the gap between SilverBoxes (children's service) and The Next Generation (youth service).
it's really been the highlight of these holidays so far.

well, camp comm. had to write reflections to be published in HeartBeat, so i submitted this, which pretty much sums up the camp...on a more formal tone.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Thinking about the P6 Orientation Camp, “ConnecTiNG”, really leaves me quite speechless, as there are just too many things to say.

We started planning this camp in August, and after all plans were finalized, the camp was executed from 7-9 November. For me, it felt like the camp was actually running for 3 months, because the whole process was just so amazing, and the people I was working with were awesome.

Even as I write this, I miss the camp, as there seems to be an emptiness somewhere, but I’m comforted in the fact that ConnecTiNG will live on, and that next year there will be new leaders to bring the new juniors in. (:

Well, there are two things that I would really like to say.

At the beginning of the camp, I for one, was extremely worried that the P6s would not have opened up. They all came with faces of stone, and through the first few icebreakers were withdrawn and unenthusiastic.

However, as the camp progressed through, and the games and group activities went on, their faces were loosened, and smiles appeared, until at the end of all, many even gave feedback that the camp was too short! I believe this camp has really started the journey for the P6s together as a cluster, and sown the seeds of bonding in their hearts. I’m thankful that this camp served as an effective bridge to an otherwise abrupt change from SilverBoxes to TNG, as now the P6s know quite a handful of their TNG seniors, and they’ve experienced the love that has been given to us through TNG, by God. (:

But one thing I did not expect, was to bond as a Sec 3 cluster so much more than I’ve probably ever done. This camp allowed me to know more of my cluster, and gave me the chance to interact more with them. Our cluster is really huge, but through this camp, I’ve talked to people I haven’t really talked to before, and strengthened existing relationships. This was really quite a pleasant surprise, because I only ever imagined bonding the P6s!

I feel so thankful to God and for God in this camp. He’s been so many things, and done so much for us! As we put our faith in Him, so did He stay faithful. He’s not only helped us bond the P6s, but he added in a spice and we were bonded in the process! It’s just…so amazing. From this camp, I realise this –

If we lift everything up to God, He’ll help you through it all, and even give more than you expected. (:


---------------------------------------------------------

okay.

now for stuff on a more casual tone, and that you wouldn't publish in a official magazine.

the camp was awesome!
i really didn't expect to miss it so much, it was only after everything that i realised how much it meant to me, and how much it did.

i'm gonna remember everyone in camp comm for something.

david - for your perseverance and patience, and still taking up worship. you own man.
heather - for your ariel-galore.
izabel - for being the first person to call me obnoxious. (heh, though i'm sure many others still at least think it).
hanya - for your moisturised bruise, and crazy endurance in handling games.
thaddeus - THAADEEUUS!!! *heather and hanya sighs*. HAHAHAHAH.
evan - for your parkour, and your mad skillz and SANDFLY!!! WOO! oh and the hugs!
bunny - for your peserverance in insisting that i didn't tell you i changed my founder's award dates! i did loh! everyone remembered!
joann - *tilts head and smiles cheekily, without exposing teeth*. (:

eh but y'all darn bad ah, both nights must go leave me out of your fun ):

1st night - go macs without me.
2nd night - not only did y'all have 2 hrs of fun while i was asleep, y'all MADE me sleep to WRAP ME UP. and it didn't even work!!! no fun lah.

sigh, i miss you camp comm.
at least we've already had one post-camp outing! (:
but i'm not sure how long we'll last as a camp comm...
but by God's grace, if some mystical bond does keep us together, that'd be great. (:

this camp was really amazing. i'm glad we managed to help the P6s feel comforted as they enter TNG, knowing that we're there, and that the love and fun they experienced at camp can be expected in TNG. (:

thanks, all of you guys, game leaders, group leaders.
yall were done good in your effectiveness, efficiency, and energy-feeding. (:


thank You God. (:
this was a good camp indeed.

"these kind of people i'll remember..."

I don't know what to call this post. really.

sorry, i just need to collect my thoughts.

yeah, last night and this morning i was kinda frustrated.
cos i need to lead cell this Sunday, but i'm put down for worship.
and when i'm down for worship, i can't go cell.

so i only realised that the events clashed like a day after the second person informed me.
(i can't remember whether liz informed me about worship or choy informed me about cell first, they both informed me at start of the week, but i think choy did...not important now.)

and then, well, isn't it amazing how such a hoohaa is churned up just by two events clashing?
it seems so weird that, it could all be avoided if the timings were just a few hours different.

haha, to use an analogy, i think it's like ships.
if you have two ships who collided on sea, then there would normally be mass destruction, loss of lives, broken families.
but to think, if there were at least a few degrees different of turning the ship,
just a few degrees.
all that wouldn't have happened.

of course, in my case, the situation couldn't really be controlled.
i was annoyed, sad, frustrated, cos i wanted to sing, but also wanted to lead cell, though not as strong, but still did.

it was like, personal v.s. responsibility obligation.

i guess i wanted to sing cos it would've been my last time serving on the old roster, before newbies come in. would've been quite cool to sing one last time on the old roster. was also singing with heather, and we haven't sang much together before, cos somehow either of us always can't make it. haha, but we're good friends.

and i wanted to lead cell...cos of responsibility obligation. david couldn't make it, he had to prepare for O's, choy and sara also couldn't. anyway, choy probably told me before liz, so it's only right for me to do cell i guess.

this morning, i tried finding replacements. after asking a few boys (too many girls singing, so we needed boys, since i was out), i realised that 3 had O's, two were singing the next week, and dwight had his painful wisdom tooth. liz then told me that it was ok, i couldn't find a replacement. anyway we couldn't ask the new vocalists.

more complications, talked to heather, talked to choy, talked to liz.

after confirming that I couldn't do BOTH worship and cell,
and that david and sara really couldn't lead,

by 3:05pm friday, i concluded that i'm gonna do cell,
and i'll still be going for worship prac tonight, so it's not all so bad.
and anyway this is the best decision.
cos my want to do worship was probably more personal random want to do worship, rather than spiritual.


so yeah, i get to lead cell,
and at least attend worship in some sorta way(:



if you're still reading this post, you're quite champion.
this post is probably the most boring ever.
i don't think i've ever blogged so much about schedule.

...
have i?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

at worship prac, i realised a few things.

i hate these kind of situations because i'll have to choose one, and not do the other, resulting in the lack in at least one side-the side i don't choose.

although i felt comforted in the afternoon, i felt different at worship prac,
cos i realised by not singing there would be no male in the vocals
(i had seen this earlier, but didn't impact me so much yet).

and i realised i didn't just wanna sing cos of heather,
but because i really just enjoy serving in worship ministry,
and just singing, and having fellowship with my worship team.

but i also realised that, unlike cell, worship still had vocals and lyrics without me.
if i went for worship, there would be no cell at all.

so...yeah.
sigh, bb tmr.
i like bb, but i dunno.
sometimes i don't like certain aspects.




look!
a bear!

ANNOYING.

ok i can't stand it, i need to rant about this thing that i am just urged to rant about.

so what's the point, of forcing you to do a heritage badge project, if they want you to APPRECIATE the heritage of Singapore.
i'm not insulting Singapore's heritage. In fact, Singapore is probably one of the places with such a diverse and rich heritage.

However, do they have to make this project compulsory?
I mean, it's not so bad to write a 500-word essay on it, that's still tolerable, cos' you admit that you'll learn something from that.

but making you take 2 photos of the monument with your face in the pic?
i mean, so what, they want proof that you actually WENT to this monument.
brilliant. and then?
most people, will just go there, take the photo, and go back home.
trust me, i asked.
how in the world does THAT help you appreciate!?
i mean ok lah, if you really are so interested that after photo-taking you go into the monument and snoop around learning to appreciate, then that's ok.
but isn't it obvious that the photo-taking won't PROVE that you've appreciated the monument, not in the least bit?
to those uninterested, d'you really think it'll make a difference?

that's why i really can't stand it when they make these projects compulsory.
you think making these people go smile in front of a building and converting it into pixels for one occasion really suddenly opens their mind to the appreciation of heritage?
No! you can't force these things like that!

i understand you have good intentions, but please, don't make it compulsory.
it just doesn't make good sense.



anyway, i refuse to go take that photo.

adaptation.

do i adapt too much?

i tend to adapt to different people, mostly in the ways of speech.
like i will have different tones of voice, or different ways of speaking. different choices of words.

there's still a general code to how i speak, like without vulgarities, and no like heavy cheem or weird sincere "i lurbhhsxzxz euuzzx worhkszx" kinda language.
(haha, well sometimes i do use the latter for fun)

but do i adapt too much?

until people get different impressions of me, and i create false images of myself that i do not want to create?

what if YOU reading this right now, think i'm something which i'm not.

haha, maybe i'm thinking too much.
this evening i've been hearing/saying (in virtual terms) a lot.



i think i even adapt to my blog.
i might not seem the same in reality.





ohoho.
isn't it intriguing.

dum dee dum.

YEAH HOO.

ONE MORE PAPER TO GO.

i feel weird...

sigh, thank God for the ending of the papers.

hopefully i won't fail any, cos that would result in concamp!

but i heard God say He'll let me go for the P6 camp (which clashes with concamp), so let's have faith in that! (:

i am actually kinda bored now.

whee. ok i go on msn see what i can do.

7¬14

7 done, 7 more.
woohoo. half-way through.

and only...6....out of 7 are study-able.fine.
i somehow thought there were less.


by the way.
one day while cleansing and refreshing myself, i had a realisation-

the flaw with showers is that, at any one time, not all your body surface area is exposed to water (why? because you can't have a constant film of water over your body the WHOLE time), meaning that some surface areas are exposed to water more than others. Not very cool eh?

while with bathtubs, your whole body surface area is exposed to water all the time, ta-dah! excellent eh? however, sadly and disgustingly, we rise out of the same dirty water, meaning our body would have some of that gross residue still.

THEREFORE, i propose, purely in terms of hygiene and effectiveness,

A bathtub with a constant flow of water, meaning there's an initial amount of water placed in it, and then as one bathes, a flow of water is executed.

Get the idea?

....of course.
this would be highly expensive.
and very un-eco-friendly.
therefore my friend, do this only if you have a solution on how to save all this water in the end.


cheerio.



half-half.