introspection.

i just had a fascinating conversation.

marcus and i talked about a great deal of many things.
God. Life. Art. Me. and my shit.

it was a good, rich, meaningful, thought-provoking discussion.

regarding God, he said maybe I have taken the very foundational grace granted by Him for granted, and I was looking for something too real, expecting too much, instead of appreciating what I had.

regarding art, he said it could've screwed too much with my brain, made me question too much, made me too cynical, too critical.

regarding me and my full-of-shitness, he said that I subtly hint of standards that I seem to believe but which I don't hold myself to. Like how I claim to love people but don't behave so. How I am so willing to be the great USA (quote from art room not from this conversation but something I recall now), accepting of everyone yet not being vulnerable and open enough in reciprocation.

"Sometimes people need to know that if you're willing to hear their souls' lamentations, you have to give a part of yours in exchange. You don't do that."

A very good conversation, something I will continue to chew and roll around in my mind.

thank you marcus. (: