Yeah, yesterday I was practising my violin (to be honest I don't practise a lot :-P) and at 9.30pm I realised I was missing my Vol. 4 book. And I was turning my whole house down in search of it.
Today - Watched some tv, looked for book, didn't find it. Picket fences was what I watched. Sadly, I don't have cable. And ate lunch, it was porridge unfortunately.
It seems that everything is becoming an issue of bad luck. I looked everywhere for the book and I still can't find it. It's either in the bookshelf, or got transported with the air purifier away to dunno where. Damn book, I took it out on Sunday night and I'm sure I either put it back or on my table. Now it's run off to the land of no dimension.
My sister finished her O lvl's (issit lvls or lvl's?) today. Whoop, clap cheer. She's gonna celebrate with not a care in the world. I dont think anyone in my family has to do 4 chinese journal records and read a chinese book (which comes with a whole bunch of questions) during this supposed-to-be-splendid holiday. Ooh, suprise suprise, its only CHINESE homework. AND I still have to practise math! D-A-M-N. What's with the holidays?
Hmm, it makes me feel guilty not being so on about violin. Should I carry on? Or not?
Ok, here's the daily think thought...
Oh yeah, about things where you have questions and don't know what to do. I get frustrated for a while, than I remember God. And you see, the way I ask God stuff, no, let me rephrase. The way God answers my questions...sometimes, is truly amazing.
E.g. (and this is true, about a month ago?) Ok, I was having a lotta trouble deciding whether to take up drums for my school SYF that's coming up next year. So I was listing all the pros and cons in my head, and yet, I still couldn't decided with my own strength. Then I realised I hadn't asked God. So I lay on my bed and said, "God, what should I do?" So I heard this voice (in my head) telling me to just go for it and not for hockey to try and realise my real potential. Or something like that. And after that, I felt totally at ease. Like the rock was lifted off my heart. It was just a great experience. So I went for drums.
So now, since then, I ask God a lot. Like when I used my sister's nailclipper and she claimed I didn't return it. I looked for it a lot and a lot, to no avail. So I prayed and God said, "Remember what Martin(classmate) said? Lost things normally turn up." So I decided to go bathe and wash up. It was dumb, spending about an hour looking for something that I couldn't find. I lay in my bed about 10 mins, and my sister came in, "Ehehe, Ryan, I found it, sorry." And yeah, it was under her pencil case where I returned it (well, the case wasn't there at first but, yeah. )
So see? God does speak. But the main point I want to put today is that I am confused. Because sometimes I hear so many voices I don't know which one God is. Or if God is one of them at all. I want to finish off with something my uncle luke said.
"So many voices in my head. God, which one's you?"-Luke Wee
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