distance

distance
like repercussions, sliding in suspicious
waves of uncertainty.

you grasp
for something of a breath,
heavy with dejection.

crayons in neon
outline the faces, not one, not two
you draw them blank.

deluded, insanity.
the beholder confused and confuses.
falling, screaming silently.










"well, i need a break don't i?"


-ryan.

self-reminder.

ihs - research on scotland. consult shaun first.
history - do the essay for crying out loud.
chem. - where is my prac?!?! find it!
a math - a whole lot of catching up to do.
c math - the alpha beta thing.
chinese - yeah, done.
larts - coursework, due very soon, week 5!


life could be simpler.
but the jazz is, it's not.

intolerance.

normally i would think i'm quite tolerant.
people have told me that too.

of course, there are still many things that annoy me.

one now that somehow demands me to blog it.

IT ANNOYS ME DEEPLY.
that he puts on such a sweet voice and possible facade with friends.
then with us he's so rude and annoying and obnoxious.
and i think i'm the ONLY one who sees this.

it just feels like injustice.
this is one recurring theme that I find appears in my "list of intolerances".
i think i can't stand injustice.
it just, really really irritates me.

why can't he just be who he is and not act all different and sweetly glazed in front of friends?
then seek attention. what a hypocrite, as he says someone else seeks attention.

maybe i'm wrong.
maybe i'm only looking at the surface,
and there's something more to this i can't see.
something which explains it all.

i really hope that's the case, and that he's only like this for some underlying truth i can't see.
i'll try not to brood over this.
focus on the good.
yes yes, calmness.


still i praise you, Father.