insufficiency.

"you're so overstretched that you don't even have enough time for your...friends."

just a note - the above quote wasn't said in that frustrated, pissed off kinda tone, but in a sincere, wanna-help kinda tone.

but yeah, this recent conversation with a pretty close friend sorta affirms what i felt quite a while back, though i pushed those thoughts away.

Recap

though i've never blogged about this, never too late to catch up.

during an amath lesson a while back, i felt pretty depressed because i was like, sitting there, and i felt like whatever f(x) or -> thingy my teacher was scribbling on the board would make utterly no sense or not even help a single bit in the future.

which somehow led to how much time i'm wasting in lessons like these.

and my brain drifted off somewhere and made me suddenly think about my social life.
which is when i suddenly realised.

that my social life was constantly hindered and in a deep low because of educational systems.
and i thought about how so many a time i've never been able to help other good friends when they're feeling super bad;

let alone go out and have at least a simple chat or walk with them to catch up.

to the extent, that 95% of the times i log in on MSN, i'm always appearing offline.

"i used to ask you out but i don't now, because you're always so busy..."

slowly, this situation will get from bad to worse.

and can you imagine as the next few years progress?
in IB, yeah sure, you can say they're all struggling with me, so no one has a social life then.

but my really good friends are mostly in church.

i mean, really, it sucks to hear how slowly someone will draw away from you, because i just can't commit the same amount of time to him/her.

am i really too overstretched?

- bb = ltc exco (this is coming off soon)
- prefects = Internal affairs comm. (not in exco, thank God)
- chamber (this is practically nothing, there's no percussion this year).
- om (i'm just supporting, can only do so till' june, would end soon)
- vocal ministry = SL (this is a bit taxing, but important)
- 9th subject = Art (this is my passion)

ok, so currently i've got practically 5.
om will end soon, bb will lighten up when ltc finishes.
so that's like 3 1/2.

prefects? not gonna join council (quite a few reasons). but i don't think i'll quit.
9 subjects... should i drop amath?

i'm taking amath only because...
- people say it's important.
- it's supposed to help me with SL math in yr 5/6.
- then, i can concentrate on stuff like art!


sighh...
i know what.
i will MAKE time.

after mugging, things should be a lot smoother.
and... i'll be more pro-active in socialising.

yep yep.

alrightoes, feel a lil' better now...

off to math!

zinc carbonate is good for health,
ryan

of the dark ages.

during school last Friday, suddenly felt like penning this down.
guess it was the impact the clip "End of the World 2012" had on me.

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a prophecy. Nor is it blasphemy. I'm just using my imagination. Yes.

of the dark ages
by Ryan Goh


the city weeps.
crimson flows,
dark and deep it goes.

an air of apathy.
the sky droops, a mourning.
the sunset in scorning.

silent howling.
its confidence, abolished.
all broken, crumpled, demolished.

"let there be light."
and there was.
but now echoes
the beast's uproars.

as shadow fell
and the Sun hid
the devil unleashes
upon the world, his bid.


I know it's quite dark and satanic-ky.
this is by no means an offence to anyone, or anything.

i think the flow's not too smooth, and there's something about the 4th stanza that doesn't sound quite right. the ending might be a lil' abrupt?

comments appreciated. (:


continue mugging till' its bugging!
ryan-.


P.S.
Oh, nearly forgot.
Cleo the Queen demands that I acknowledge how she inspired me.
Well, she did write a good essay.
So hear goes.

Inspired by - Cleo the Queen.


thank you.

have a nice day.