fumbling (hopefully) no more.

thank you junyu.

your gallery of work showed me beauty;

simple and honest art.

you had one, pure, sincere emotion - and you expressed that magically.

it was beautifully humbling, in one phrase.

arguably,

i've tried too hard,

thought too much,

played too carelessly.

i attempted growing a great tree without finding the proper soil.

more than ever, i feel like a little child fumbling mindlessly in a playground.

a big huge, visual arts playground.

perhaps it was necessary; it was fun whilst it lasted.

but you've pushed me further.

thanks.

the last.

one boy whistles,

the other patters paint onto his canvas.

it is the last.

let us go out quietly then.

Great No. 14

in the art room:

tonight the great race ends.

i shall complete Great No. 14 and rest easy.

zants.

there was an ant track in the art room.

i destroyed their path by flicking water from my brush bottle all across their path.

now they are dead ants in dilute acrylic.

gotta get my head out.

naptime.

  2pm-330pm.

dream one:

i wake up and clamber out of under the table. my huge square canvas was supposed to have my painting. but now there was a huge sbs-colour scheme truck face. david says, "ahah ryan while you were sleeping i painted your painting! Now you can't diss junyu and i for painting for each other!"

dream two:

we're all invited to a gala dinner. not before david and i scramble and fight in the newly renovated year 5 art room, second storey. a couple of new art students are looking at us but we do not care.

dream 3:

we're all gathered in the year 5 studio room. Z is in a summer dress. very nice short hairstyle. looks strangely like emma watson. sien asks, "hey ryan, ryan! (bites lip, raises eyebrows) should i tell her about my point system?"

"yeah sure."

(sien runs off after her.)

a week left.

today, i woke up at 9.40am.
all i recalled at that moment was dreaming about junyu and the rest of the art gang at wahchee.
i don't remember the plot of that dream.

i finished cooking and eating breakfast at 11.40am.
i fell asleep again for another 1 and a half hours.
this time i dreamt again about the art people and the art room.

i woke up at 1 to have lunch. it was hearty.
fell asleep again at 140. short nap till 2.
can't remember what the dream was but it was about art. again.

over-saturation?

david's right; let's take this slow.

anyway i'll miss it nonetheless.