impact.

today's service started off with a free dinner - McChicken with mayo. yay.
then we waited until the movie was gonna start.
when it did, we watched it.
and there was impact throughout the whole thing.
but only 5 or 10 minutes are the whole thing did the mother asteroid crash.

it was odyssey'.
and it was a heaving thought to relate it to the movie, catching me in a dilemna.
this only occured to me while praying for the church.

then when i went home, another depression decided to play.
it's just damn annoying.
and distracting.
i don't know why it won't go away.
but i think it's, very bluntly put, stupid.
things like that at this time should have bid goodbye geological ages ago.

i think i get high in school.
i believe it's a counter-effect of my brain to neutralise the depression of school.
i feel like i have a different personality from that in school, and at home, and in church.
sigh.

ib symposium's starting.
theme - environment conservation.
maybe influenced by live earth?

anyway, i was dozing off during the talk.
so i kept awake by scribbling away.
here's the product of my caffeine.

i'm pissing off angrily at my brothers for the slightest things.

i realise it, and it don't like it cos i know it's wrong, but i just feel so weird and kinda depressed now. it's not any of that 'life sucks' crap. don't worry.

have a pleasant night.

defeating giants.

courage.

what is considered "true courage"?

our teacher asked today. hmm. i like pondering about things like that. it let's me think about new things and opens doors in minds. no seriously. you try. i came up with my own definition of courage, and it kinda makes you think different. slightly.

Courage is not doing something others asked you to do.
Courage is not taking up the job that most people would have never dared to take up.

I think courage is the victory of the inner battle.
True courage is overcoming one’s fear of an element and gaining the victory of the inner battle in the mind in order to achieve a greater success.

haha, what do you all think? try. quite fun.
or maybe y'all don't like thinking. that's ok.
anyway, if you wanna tell me what you thought, tagg!

haha, gotta shift to homework.

in the maroon night sky.
there lies a bridge.

Amateur - Lasse Gjertsen

hey all!
credit to gracelynn for showing me this video!
it's this guy who can neither play the piano or the drums, but can video edit all of it very well!
Enjoy! (:
(it's really good)

solutions.

man this sucks.

i hate math, and have a whole pile of it to do. Please tagg some ideas for inspiration to do all this!

i posted a question on yahoo, and got 7 replies in 20 minutes!
i never knew it was THAT active and popular.

it was the first time i've used it anyway.
well, i'll have to coop myself up in my room and burn through math.

confusion.

3 weeks have gone.

and i have spent one and a half away from my hometown.
i'm not much of a patriot anyway.

and the other half of the second week?
entertaining and having fun with my cousin from england.

and then...let's see.
the third week was spent on slacking, homework-ing, playing computer, blogging, msn-ing, and sleeping mainly.
kinda a lot of stuff to use the word 'mainly'.

and this week has been.
fun. and saddening.

on monday.
just stayed at home and slacked and home-worked.

tuesday.
went to carnival with heather mao, tricia chee, gracelynn, and of course - my bro.
it was.
fun & sickening.
cos we went on the really expensive ride right after dinner.
and that sparked off a chain of sicknesses that decided to target my bro.

wednesday.
not much. slacked at home as far as i can recall.
i think i finished my life science gene therapy report on this day.
wasn't THAT an interesting piece of info for all of you.

thursday.
oh yes. there was a cell outing.
how fun.
the minute i get there, the ads hadn't even started. (we were watching fantastic 4)
i wanted to meet them there, since i didn't wanna go for the lan.
so, the screen was blank.
i walk into the theatre with thaddeus and marcus shouting their usual greeting of 'fwee jie jie!'
and then i sit on the right of jeremy ling.
on his left is jon choy.
who greets, 'ryan, you're late.'
how very nice.
and the ads STILL hadn't presented themselves yet.

all this in a nutshell - i was annoyed before the movie started.

and so. the movie was ok.
the good stuff were the graphics and...and...yepp. the graphics.
i like the evil planet consumer.

dinner at long john silvers.
it was ok.
i didn't like the black pepper sauce.
the rice was good though.
i didn't have any fish?
cos i prefer chicken. ^^

friday.
stoned at home doing the usual. i think.

saturday.
went out with my om friends.
watched surf's up!
it's better than F4.

ate swensen's for afternoon tea after that.

went home. went out for extended family dinner.
too bad my bro couldn't come cos he had a contagious eye sore.
or was HE the contagious eye sore? XD

dinner was full-filling.
a lot of ta pow.
or however you spell it.

sunday.
this was the saddening day.
went church.
saw gracelynn, heather, and jon yuen on 3rd floor.
jon yuen and i were wondering where our cell was.
chatted a bit with gracelynn and heather.

marcus came to collect us.
said cell was at jonchoy's hse.

cell had word this time.
jon choy made us memorise Ex 6:1-3.
after cell, browsed thru photos of past cluster outings and camps.

went back to church. 'studied' with heather and gracelynn.
gracelynn kept demoralising herself in graphs (Stop!)
and heather couldn't stop talking.

then, it happened.
my bro called me to go home.
we had to go for a father's day lunch.

i went to the lift.
and the next thing i know,
jonathan teng pulls me towards the table.
damn.
said hi to grace chan.
couldn't hear what bunny said.
tried to distract myself and point fingers at joseph for something about heather.
it was foolish, i should have just gotten out.
but then it would have been too obvious.
anyway, there was already visual contact.

that killed a lot of what time had spent so much of itself to build up.
it really hurt after that.
more than what i had felt for a long time.
which just goes to show.
that with less interaction,
i can forget about it better.

it's so hard to understand.
so complicated.
why can't i just forget?!
it's distracting and confusing me.

there's one week left.
promises a lot of potential.
how am i going to spend it?

lights out.

a small solemn touch.

the wood was cool, glossy. plastic-ky.
it felt like the glossy egg-sized flat glasses that kept the faces of the dead in good shape at the crematorium.

at first glance, the body inside the coffin gave a shot to the palms.
it looked like it was made of wax, and there was a pearl that was oddly placed between the lips.

i had never been to a wake before.

it had opened another door in my mind, and many challenges and questions popped into my head. as i was there at the coffin. at the altar. at the table. at the burning.

the burning. it was, quite simply put, fun, to watch.
but was it sinful? since we christians do not believe in such rituals.
i saw a fellow christian take a joss stick and kow-tow.
was it right, even if the intentions were just to pay respect?

how would we know where the line is?
when's not enough, when's too much.

i leave the red thread at the foot of the tree and get into the car.

the girl's art was good.

research looked coherent.
practice seemed enough.
and final composition was awesome.
bright colours, bombastic idea and brilliant perfection.

and now to think about it, the monks' chanting rhythm was quite catchy that i put it to my feet and hands.

back at home.

mum said lights out about an hour ago?
i'm typing, my bros are sleeping.

and i think i'm losing friends.
to someone who knew them through me.

maybe it's because i'm too boring for them?
too quiet?
not fun to talk to?

or maybe it's cos i wasn't with them for 2 weeks and more.

*sigh*.

what's there much to ponder about?
if they click with you and like you, they do.
if they don't, they don't.

then i guess those two don't.

haha. that's ok.

but is it really? or is that just for comfort?

it's dark outside, but my table lamp's on.
and it seems the only bed left is the one in the hottest part of the room.

time for lights out.

ACSI Div2 Prob5

this is my team performing in Odyssey of the Mind 2007, Michigan, MSU!
The performance is basically about Noah's ark, and how a chameleon is trying to get on. And we got 1st! YEAH!

Enjoy!

broken.

sometimes i really feel life sucks and everything is pointless.

this is one of the times.

goldfish.

hi guys.

i'm back from om and ohana camp. this is one of my first posts in trebuchet for a long time. in fact, this is one of my first posts in a long time. few problems came up like my internet was down, and my mind didn't feel like blogging, but now my fingers are steadily at work.
let's see. my dad just came in and said i had to do my work. maybe after i blog.

another life gone. ah po, my godfather's mum's eldest sister. always greeted her whenever i paid a visit to my cousins. a week ago in a coma. now, not sure where she's on her way to. prayed for heaven. will have to pray again. wonder what ever happens when one dies. it's a real sad world.

odyssey!

odyssey' was damn fun. Out of all three times, first colorado, then iowa, and now michigan, there's not been a time where it hasn't been fun. could this have been my last time in om? i hope at least year 5 still still stays promising. not sure about next year.

let's list one happy thing-
WE GOT FIRST!!! OWNAGE! PWNAGE!!! FIRST!!!! We've never gotten 1st! In p6, we got a measly 4th. Then in sec 1, 3rd, and now in Sec 2, first!!! WOOHOOO. jumping jackels! hmm. but actually currently, the only excited part of my body is probably my fingers. and a little curve on my lips that spread across my face. the excitement of om has died down. so sad it's over now.

let's list one sad thing-
I missed the buddy team night party! Argh. All of the dumb luck, i had to be a heavy sleeper. nong claims he spent 15 minutes trying to wake me up. aww. thanks nong. they spent many hours signing shirts, exchanging emails and talking. even makes me feel sad now to think i missed out all the fun. in the morning, i was super sad.

dang it. om's over. it was so fun. when i get pics of the buddy team and all i'll probably post it up here. or maybe i'll be too lazy. i realise i'm rather lazy to blog about every single thing that happened in om. i'll try to make it brief.

we got there.
decided who slept where and made a storage room.
ate dinner and traded pins.
did some other stuff.
and um, i can't remember, slept real late?
next day, main highlight was opening ceremony and meeting the buddy team. opening ceremony didn't seem to have many people, probably cos other teams had not arrived yet, i was not too sure.
in between opening and closing ceremony, we did our ltp and spon, which was about a singing frog. i was quite upset about spon cos i thought we flunked it, but it turned out that we got second for spon, and second for ltp and third for style. at least we got 1st overall! yepp, of course we also traded pins, play with our buddy team, and had to work on props and a bit on spon.

ohana

ohana camp, very basically, wasn't as fun as youth camp, but was probably more meaningful. yepp. i don't really miss it. but i just feel weird. the only youths i knew well who went were ben leong, teng bros, evan, heidi, berwyn, heather, aaron, and gracelynn. yeah i think so.

games were ok. not that fun. we really sucked at them but hey! that's ok. our group had many elderly after all, and many of our members were organisers. ahh well. even if the games weren't that fun.

food was good. but boring. around the same thing everytime.

worship was good. although there weren't any tng songs. would be an overdose of energy and noise for the adults and elderly i guess.

sermons were uh...no comments. except second one was not bad!

workshops, since we were the oldest there, i didn't really feel like the methods suited us. i guess it did work a bit in the end. a lot of note-taking and weird games. but hey, it's all to suit the age gap.

yepp, i guess that's about it. oh yes, did shopping as well. bought two new t-shirts, from the brand of "forest". not too sure about it, but i liked the designs. at night, we had mini-parties where the youths gathered to snack and play cards and talk till like 1+am.

good times good times.

and now it's over. back to school and chamber and bb and prefects and church.

yepp.
right now my bro's watching bleach, and i'm still blogging. sometimes i'm distracted by interesting scenes. i thought it was the first week still, since i spent about a week in the US and half a week away at Ohana. Damn.

went for om.
came back home for 1 day.
went for ohana.
came back home for 2 days.

it feels weird to keep shifting, and finally now that i'm home again.
i feel like a goldfish being experimented consistently with waters of different pH.

sigh.