my diagnosis

i realise my blog fluctuates.
sometimes i can not post for a month.
sometimes i can post thrice a week.

blog swings i guess.

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here's my diagnosis.

he has a complex, that began and has developed for a long time.
due to many factors and details here and there.
and now with the affliction, it's just aggravated matters.

she is under a lot of pressure, from many areas in life.
certainly, it's not easy for her.

he needs an escape.
from all his emotional complexities.
he resorts to his old ways.

she doesn't like that.
especially since his old ways just aggravate his affliction.

he needs attention.
but its hard to give it to him.


therefore, i suggest a psychiatrist.
or a counselor.
to tend to him.


that's my diagnosis.
go for a second opinion if you like.

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i might be starting a series of abstract posts/stories
maybe i'll call it "dreamworld"
haha, laugh if you want.
i know. go on. help yourself.
laughter is good.




so you sailed away,
into a grey sky morning.

i know

k imagine you just got over a quarrel with someone else.

how would you feel, to just think about
despite how much you get frustrated at that person, you still love him/her so much.
and right at that moment when you're consoling yourself with this fact,
this hope of your love you can still hang onto,

that person goes -
"you know what's the most pissing thing about you? ..."

kinda saddening right?
maybe i'm too used to it already.

i know there's more to this person.
i know it.
and the day it'll come out, i'm gonna feel more than thankful.




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i realise many a time, at a random place, i want to compose a new post,
but i either forget or have no time once i get the opportunity.
fascinating, isn't it?

awakening

worship today was good.
i felt this thingy.

it was along the theme of "awakening".
i think i felt like the worship was answering prayers of us youth.
or bringing some of us back onto track.
especially the last song.
it was an enlightenment to many.

well that's what i felt.
if anyone agrees just tag yeah?
would affirm me, thanks. (:


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also, i feel kinda disgusted with my recent (or long term) lack of self-discipline.
is like, if i have no pressure i get distracted easily.
i become playful.
then only after THAT happens, then i feel immense regret.
and the cycle replays.

until the pressure builds up and my body decides to do work.
and then i go like "why didn't i do it just now?"
and i get immensely annoyed with myself, and that leads to posts like these.
it feels so annoying.

ok, unnecessary things i did today which i could've done another time:
- media research
- emotional thinking
- internet games
- getting distracted by britain's got talent on youtube. (who the pong left that browser open?)

i think a solution would be to become nocturnal.
it worked on thursday.
but recently napping during afternoons have become increasingly difficult.
due to uncomfortably warm temperatures.

and now see, i have to do tuition work.
then still got school work.



oh man i do feel bad.
i need some way, God.
is this the mountain?