so beautiful.

i have a grandaunt, we call her "ji gou".
and we visit her every chinese new year.

not so long ago, sometime in the middle of this year-
on a sunday, our dad asked us not to make plans after church youth service, as ji gou had fallen ill, and was hospitalised.
he wanted us to go visit her as a family.

at the hospital, ji gou had seemed so different.
her hair seemed grey-er, and it was cut short, compared to the relatively vibrant curls we used to see every once a year.
even something about her face had changed-it was paler, and had lost that familiar spark.
her eyes that once squinted with happiness were now open, and sad.

my dad, knowing her the best, talked to her in dialect, asked her questions.
i watched, and flashed an occasional smile, touched her thin elderly hand.
i watched, and saw how my dad was just sitting there, beside her, continously exchanging words of dialect, continuously smiling at her with his bright face.
at one time, my dad intended to ask a nurse if visitors were allowed to bring in food and feed her, and would've done so if my mum hadn't pointed out that she was only allowed to take specific forms of food.
when it was time to go, we said our wishes and byes, my dad comforted her for a while more, and we left.

*************
a few months later-

as i sit on a chair near the casket, an elderly woman enters through the doors.
i only notice her, and recognise her as ji gou, when she arrives at the foot of the casket.
her hair was still cut short, just like in the hospital, and she looked more or less the same.

and as she reached the very side of the casket, she shifts her hands, to support her weight, and, with the support of others, shakily stands up.

her sad, open eyes looked down.


and in the few, brief, seconds she had to see my father's face...she did.


almost collapsing, she sat back into the wheelchair.
and was escorted away.







who would've guessed.